Vacation...

Trap Thursdays!

A much needed break was had from work.The wife and I went to Chicago for a few days. I had not been in that city for ~15 years, so it was 'new'. I got adapt at navigating the bus system, and using an app called "Uber"  which auto-pays and calls taxis, private cars, and SUV's. Between my wife and I signing up, we scored a solid $60 of free cabs.

Observations:This city is expensive as piss... I've never thought in my life "Wow, Starbucks is cheap."  But in Chicago, I did... Combine that with a massive bottled water tax, and all I saw was $4 bottles of water. It's fucking absurd. Boots are a necessity, especially in the slush and snow. I think we walked a total of 15 miles or so just touring the city in sub-zero temperatures. It was pretty sweet...

Hilton ceiling. Pretty swanky hotel.

Yes, I can one handed overhead press 16 tons...

View from the 'gym'.

Lifting

lifting went well this week (week 4), no real issues. Starting to add back in some heavier sets. I still feel a little weak in the squat, and my bench technique, while improving, is still pretty sad.  I deadlifted at the hotel, got yelled at for 'dropping weights'.  I said fuck off, I paid $27 to use this facility for my stay; either refund it or let me finish...  I finished. Not to mention, I ran out of weights... so was doing sets at 300-400...

 

 

   Week 5 lifting:

-9 degree weather made this a rough week. Espeicially combined with my 'conditioning' of shoveling the 30" of snow... 

Squats went poorly. 330 moved slow as shit. and... my camera doesnt function at these temperatures... I did find a bit of benefit that as i descend, I force my knees out. It lets me drop in a straighter pathway and seems to give me good rebound.   We'll see if it continues to hold true.

Bench. 275 top set.   I feel like I should be lifting more than this or at least moving this weight faster/easier... maybe the cold was the cultprit.

Deadlift: It was a warm 31 degrees out that night!  Holy shit, I almost wore shorts... 

Weights moved fine, My knee was was not happy about the sumo deads though, and really, my right knee was not letting me pull equally right to left. This lead me to i feel lean and rely more on my left side to complete the initial part of the pull. 

315 speed single moving fast as shit. 

Top set of sumo... this was followed by 100000 more deadlifts in various forms. I fucked my thumb up bad during one of these torturous things...

Week 6

 This was a VERY cold week... -5 degrees Fahrenheit for most of my sessions... and working a solid 146 hours and counting these last 2 weeks...

This is how I stay so thick despite working 90% of my life in the hospital...  Simply thick!

Squat

Top Set- last of 4 sets at 285

   

Bench

Rep PR by default (225x10? no record of any higher weight for 10 reps... seriously... did I mention I hate reps?)

  

Dead

Last set at 365.  Nice and fast... fucking gloves on an already fat powerbar... someday I'll invest in a deadlift bar... and a safety squat bar... and a GHD... and a reverse hyper... uh... yeah...

Looking forward to a deload week...   Also--> I joined a fitness center... $10/month with Daycare included?   I guess I have no excuse not to do my conditioning anymore... The weight area is not half bad either...  

Something I've noticed being out of the 'gym' environment for the past year +?...  I have some strange body dysmorphic disorder. I swear EVERYONE in that gym is bigger than me. Even these 160lb guys make me go "Man, he has bigger muscles than I do..."

The fuck is wrong with THAT thought...?

Dancing with a quarter ton on my back.

Plunging needles into peoples spine, getting no sleep, drinking coffee that tastes like an ashtray, and eating Grade "F" meat... The glorious life of a resident.


Week 2 lifting recap:

Squats:
 Cant find my fucking groove right now... this leads me to dancing and changing stance width through my sets...

A1 235 3x10, 8
A2 235 x 12
B1 185, 135, 135, 135  Fucking mobility.
C1 Occlusion quads 135 2x20
Bugs and birds-
No conditioning.

First time I've actually tried to eat during a session (Zeke bread with some fruit)... Did not go well with my stomach being torqued from this nasty ass protein shake I have had to resort to... Nausea took over and made almost every fucking set of squats  near-puke status.

Thankfully I have 20lbs of Peanutbutter Beef isolate inbound.


Bench:

A1: 185, 185, 205, 205, 205 x 10 reps
A2: 135, 135, 95 x 10

B1: 135, 135, 95 x 12
B2: 4x25

C1: 20, 20, 15.
C2: 20, 20, 20.

Deadlift

315 x 5x10, 8

B1 10 x "3" @ 135

C1: 135 3x12
C2 45 3x20

D1 3x20+ at 135 (testicle crushers)
D2 3x25


These workouts were all brutal and more taxing than I realized... with that said; I'm on nights and sleep deprived...


Deload week before Christmas.

50-55% lifts. Working hard on rehab/prehab/mobility.
Just finished that up as well...  Feeling pretty good overall.  Still HATE night shifts and I'm getting a nasty ass cold (thanks Adalyn!)...

--- Seriously, This kid gets me sick all the damn time... She's lucky she's so damn cute.

~~


Working on my birthday, nobody in my city has power because of a monster ice storm.  The rats are all scurrying to the hospital for warmth and shelter under the guise of illness.  Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!...

The why of Iron.

“No citizen has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training… what a disgrace it is for a man to grow old without ever seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable.” – Socrates
I had a few cancelled appointments this morning, which gave me time to think and wonder... I started to think about why I lift, why I train, and why it is such a large and integral part of my daily life.

Not "to be the biggest!"   as there is no way to afford the $20k+/year professional bodybuilders pay for GH/test... Nor would I want to endure the side effects, associated health risks, etc.


or "To be the strongest"  That will likely never happen. I've had enough serious injuries from MMA/boxing/lifting already that there is very little likelihood that I will ever crack an elite raw (or equipped) total at 242 (or 275).  Besides, there are already people that are worlds stronger than I am or ever will be.


or "To win my division."  I'm not overly interested in powerlifting meets, they are fun in their own way, but they're not why I lift.

For me:

1) Pride:
There's a pride in lifting heavy weights. A sense of self satisfaction. Little else is as fun as grinding out 10, 15, 20 reps of a weight that you thought you could only get for 10... or in my case... getting 8 reps when I though I could only get 3 ( I hate high reps with a passion). I train through/around injuries, through sleep deprivation, etc. I hurt, but I lift anyway. I want to sit down after being on my feet all day, but I train anyway.

There's a pride that comes from hauling my 250+lb frame up and over a bar doing 20 strict pullups. I know I'll likely never compete at crossfit, but it's fun to drop into CF boxes and not look like a total jackwad doing their WODS (it's also funny as shit to see me swinging on the pullup bars doing "butterfly kipping bullshit seizures pullups" with a modicum of skill. Hello 3:48 Fran...)

One of the largest senses of pride that I get is after a 24 or 30hr shift in the hospital; having that post call euphoria and crushing weights and releasing all the frustration and aggression... then being so damn tired that you don't know if you can muster up the energy/strength/drive to walk inside, shower, and go to sleep.

2) Health:
“Through the years, I have combined meditation, action, and the Iron into a single strength. I believe that when the body is strong, the mind thinks strong thoughts. Time spent away from the Iron makes my mind degenerate. I wallow in a thick depression. My body shuts down my mind.” – Henry Rollins

I have a stressful job. I work long hours, that’s true, but I also have to have time to be a husband(though a pretty poor one during some months of work), a father (that little doll is a handful), a cook, and take care of my house (once again, poorly!).  It is the easiest thing in the world to say “I’ll lift tomorrow.” Or “It’s just one missed workout.”   What I’ve found is the 5-10 hours per week that I spend in my garage lifting is one of the most important things keeping me mentally healthy through all of this stress and work.
Iron is my balance, my anchor. It keeps me grounded.  I'd be even worse at the other aspects of life if I neglected my anchor.

Weights

Recent 525 'bounce' double deadlift (thanks Steve Goggins for the recent enlightenment regarding bouncing doubles vs touch&go.)

Recent 345 double on the bench.

Diet:
Current wt ~251-253
Pretty solid diet overall, I'm not losing weight as fast as I would like, but I also am not putting in the time conditioning that I should - Life has been a big impediment on this.
I've found and now love frozen 'steamer' bags of veggies. 4 minutes in the microwave and boom -12 oz of broccoli/brussel sprouts; hard to beat.

Journey to Ithica

Medicine:

It's difficult to stay motivated. I'm disenchanted with my job. That is not to say I don't like my work, as I love learning and neurology, just the work I'm doing in the hospital has drained my soul over the last three and a half years. Stupid, blind bureaucracy, dotting my "I"s, crossing my "T"s, having to kiss ass and bow to certain hierarchy loving bosses; these things are wearing at me heavily. I have received a couple of poor "evaluations" secondary to my absolute hatred of the hierarchical system that some of my (foreign) bosses were raised in, and have grown accustomed to.



I often question reasoning behind (unnecessary) imaging and (futile) plans of care for patients in a rather blunt manner, which is likely perceived as confrontational as my disdain is thinly veiled. Defensive medicine bothers me, especially when it is not in the patient's best interest.

In a meeting with my mentor we decided that, for my own sake, I should just keep my head down, work hard, and get through it (please reference image above). I also need to work on not showing my disgust and hatred so openly on my face, as it has been noticed...

Time to fucking lick boot... 2.5 years to go).

Combine all of that fun, with some financial strains (~$400k student debt for me, close to another $100k for my wife, etc), and it's easy to see why my soul is fading fast. My wife has noticed this more than me though, and is, with increasing frequency, mentioning how I am too negative, too jaded, for someone who has been in practice for such a short time.

I am excited (though cautiously optimistic) about my future possibilities in spite of diminishing reimbursement potentials with this "affordable" care act now in full bloom. I'm working on starting a concussion clinic, as well as forming a new 'sports neurology' fellowship for myself at Michigan State. Sports neurology is a specialty just in its infancy, but with all the press regarding concussions, there stands to be a large demand for neurologists with expertise in concussion (not to mention myself with considerable collegate, amateur, and professional sports experience).

I find it hard to keep myself grounded in the process of learning. "The journey" is something I need to learn to enjoy, not just worrying myself with the end-goal of finishing my training and being a 'real' neurologist. 

An excerpt from "Ithica" I believe is appropriate here.

"Always keep Ithaca fixed in your mind.
To arrive there is your ultimate goal.
But do not hurry the voyage at all.
It is better to let it last for long years;
and even to anchor at the isle when you are old,
rich with all that you have gained on the way,
not expecting that Ithaca will offer you riches.
Ithaca has given you the beautiful voyage.
Without her you would never have taken the road.
But she has nothing more to give you.
And if you find her poor, Ithaca has not defrauded you.
With the great wisdom you have gained, with so much experience,
you must surely have understood by then what Ithacas mean."

I guess this can be extrapolated, as the message is salient for many things in my life. (Medicine and residency, as well as weightlifting/training.)

Weights

Still rehabbing my shoulder, with some improvement. I was able to rack/front squat 225 for a single this week. I'm continuing to do DeFranco's shoulder rehab, which includes hundreds of band pull-aparts, YTWL's, face pulls, etc. Additionally, I've been working on my shoulder external rotation. I still cannot do overhead work... Soon.

I keep having a slight desire to do some crossfit workouts. Since starting crossfit a decade ago, I have occasonally done a WOD or 2. I, at one time, had a 3minute Grace and Fran (at 110kg bodyweight), and could rock a 100kg Grace in under 8 minutes. Last week I did the "Bring Sally Up" challenge at 135lbs. (~30reps of a squat with some 4 and 10 second pauses in the hole).  It lit my quads up, and my legs were shaking for the rest of the workout.

My ego got the best of me, and I decided to try it again with 225. I threw my belt on, and tried... and failed...  I got halfway through the torture (15 reps). I found myself progressively melting under the bar in the hole. It got ugly, and was probably dangerous. For the life of me, I dont think it hurt my hip though.

My current lifting plan is based off of Jay Ashman's program. "The A.S.S. Book"- Basically it has alterations of lightweight and heavy weight rotations. It makes a solid month of training. It allows for personal selection of exercises as needed, which is good for us with program ADD. I can't stick to a program for the life of me. I'm giving this a solid go, and constantly going for rep records or max weights depending.

I had not done more than singles in the deadlift over 500lbs for the last few years. Since my failed 600 deadlift last month, I've been doing rack pulls with good effect. Last week I actually trippled 500... twice from the floor. Bench on the other hand is a bitch to me like always... Since dropping from the 270's to the 250's my bench has slid. 295 for a triple was hard last week.  I think I need some technique work; finding the proper amount of 'elbow tuck', when and how much to flair (if any?). Things like this I need work on.

Current setup is 4 days of lifting (bench, squat, deadlift, overhead), 2-3 days of conditioning per week.  Though, I can't really hit heavy squats  or overhead (I'm substituting incline press for overhead, and likely high-rep and pause squats and heavy deadlift partials for squats)

Diet:

Current Wt: 256
Just coming off of night shift, I'll be blunt: My diet has been shit. I've been eating whatever my wife makes or gets (Chinese, pizza, whatever.) I do curb my carb intake most of the time, but I'd say 3-5meals/wk have been absolute shit.Through all the shit, I still tried to push 250-300g protein...

I'm considering adding in some fasts again, as its a bit hectic to get all my meals in during 'normal' work weeks... We'll see... I want to get to the 240's solidly by December.

I'll accomplish this by continuing to do my conditioning work, Limiting my carb intake to Periworkout only. (~100g), On off days I'll either be threading in Protein (shake) Sparing Modified Fasts, or just staying very low carb (<30g).

I just need to be diligent with my food-tracking...

With that said?-   I dont know what to feed my daughter most of the time. I eat meat, some veggies occasionally. She... doesn't love my food. Shopping for her at the grocery store is difficult, as I put my prejudiced against most foods that kids eat. "No, dont buy her mac n cheese, that's all carbs."... Fuck. She's a kid. Not a performance driven machine. Maybe I just need to find some healthy kid-meals that are easy to make?...

Busted insomniac

Medicine:

I find myself working nights for the last week +.  I loathe nights... rather, I loathe what it does to my sleep schedule. I have extreme difficulty sleeping when it's light out, so juggling the constant micro-sleeps that I end up doing all night between work and the scattered naps during the day is constant and fatiguing. The work I do at night is more "damage control" than anything else. Sure, I do a few consults, get a bit of work done for the day team, but it's more about "limping through" until the day team comes back on. Little joy or fulfillment with this work. Highlight?  Rocking slacker radio loud as shit in my call room.

Lifting:
Test results:  Total 1365 @ Bodyweight of 248.

Squat: 455- here's where I (re)injured my quad... and my failed 600lb deadlift...

Bench: 355


Deadlifts:  555 (new 1RM)


Total 1365 with a raw deadlift PR 30+lbs lighter than I have been since I quit fighting professionally.

My body is a bit wore down from the last couple months of heavy lifting without a true deload. As such, I have acumulated a couple injuries. My left shoulder is tender to any external rotation; making getting under a bar, doing overhead presses, etc. damn near impossible. My quad tendon(rec fem origin) is also really bothering me. This just so happens to be the same one that I tore a few years ago. Makes squatting anything over 135 pretty painful in the right anterior hip. I'll be rehabbing this as well as my shoulder for the next couple weeks while I kick up my conditioning work to help press the weight loss.

Once rehab is progressed:
I find myself switching to a "Boring but big"  351 variant template running front squats as deadlift accessory, and deads as squat accessory. OHP as accessory for bench (Either Kettlebell or barbell), and Close grip bench as accessory for OHP...
Additional plans include a 100pullup per upperbody session target, as well as a constant 20-30min of conditioning (heavy bag, jump rope, sled push/drags, barbell complexes, etc).

Coach and I agree that for my current goals, I will likely be sacrificing at least some strength to drop to a bodyweight of the 230's, and then build from there.

Diet:
Current weight 254
Coach changed the diet plan. Intermittent fasting is out, and reverted to my ace in the hole if I stall. 300g protein/100g fat/ 75g carbs periworkout only.
Back to locking this down with elimination of dairy, sugars, and other less than ideal macro sources.

Gone, but not forgotten.

After a brief hiatus from updates, I'm back.

Medicine-

I'm getting further and further disenchanted with the state of modern medicine. It is often overly depressing to encounter terminal cases in which the family won't accept the inevitable outcome. Combine these depressing factors, with working too many hours, being understaffed, etc. It's difficult to keep morale high when you're working all day and seemingly getting nothing done.


Diet:


Weight: ~255
I've been a bit relaxed on my dieting considering work has taken an exorbitant amount of time and food prep has been a bitch.  I have done my best to reach my protein intake goal of 250-300g/day. Pair that with restricting my carb intake, and I have not gained any weight, and actually have lost a bit... all while maintaining/gaining strength during the prep and peak phase for my meet.

It's easy to lose sight of progress, as it is very slow, but as my coach pointed out: In the last year I've dropped 10% of my bodyweight while getting stronger and building muscle...

I've switched over to Grass fed beef (bought a side of beef: Grass fed for $3.00/lb processed/vacume packed),  Omega 3 eggs, eliminated the vast majority of bullshit from my diet. Though I do need to get another 20 loaves of sprouted grain bread from Trader Joes... At least for the next few months I should be able to keep the diet in check with decent food-prep.


Lifting:

I had planned on doing a meet on Sept 7th, but work has put an end to that. I'd say my last 2 months have been a waste, but after talking with the coach, I'm going to do a "mock" meet.  this upcoming week when I have a day off... At least we can reset my maxes and see what progress has been made. 

Openers are extra conservatively planned at: 405 Squat, 315 bench, 465 deadlift.  Goals are ~550/365/550

Even my conservative numbers, while they aren't my lifetime maxes (too many knee surgeries), are at or higher than they were a year ago... at 30 lbs heavier.



========

Updated progress photo: April-August

New phase

Lifting

New block started last week. 

Squats up to  385x5,   Bench up to 275 5 sets of 5, and Sumo deadlift 415 5 sets of 5 (first time sumo in ~7 months.    Pretty decent week.

Squats tomorrow are a max triple for a few sets... and then some reverse band singles of doom. benching and deadlifting are both set for triples too... 

I'm looking at a full powerlifting meet Sept 20th...



Diet
-Morning weight:  263

Had a bit of cheating when I went to Indianapolis this weekend. Had some good pizza, the best tacos I've ever tasted (La Chinta in Broad ripple had amazing carnitas and skirt steak tacos!)


Locked the diet back down yesterday though... Grilled some steaks for dinner, and am going to skewer and grill up 10 lbs of chicken and 10 lbs of beef on the 4th...



Medicine:

Officially not a general medicine resident anymore. Neurology rotations only from here on out.

I'm in clinic this month, so I work a solid 8-5ish. Unfortunately I am on call all night  this week, as well as the weekend... not looking forward to it, but I have the 4th off...

Board exam on the 12th, Studying... 'hard' for it. That's taking quite a bit of time away from neurology studying.  It also has brought to my attention to the fact that my neurological knowledge is extremely lacking. I guess that's what this next 3 years is for, right?

I had a meeting with my mentor recently, discussing my future goals, and career pathways. It's still unclear what I'm going to do, but likely it will take some customization to fit my needs/desires.